Peter Shankman is a spectacular example of what happens when you find the best traits of ADHD and work really hard to make them benefit you. Diagnosed at seven years old with “sit down, you’re disrupting the class” disease, Peter wasn’t formally diagnosed with ADHD until his mid-30s. By that time, however, he’d started and sold two companies, and realized that all the differences that formerly labeled him as a troublemaker were actually his greatest assets. After Peter sold his third company, (Help a Reporter Out,) he decided to focus on really understanding this “faster brain” of his, and learning exactly what it could do. From that, the Faster Than Normal podcast and bestselling book were born.
In her 2016 Ted Talk, Julie Lythcott-Haims started off by saying, “there’s a certain style of parenting these days that is kind of messing up kids, impeding their chances to develop into themselves. There’s a certain style of parenting these days that’s getting in the way. I guess what I’m saying is, we spend a lot of time being very concerned about parents who aren’t involved enough in the lives of their kids and their education or their upbringing, and rightly so. But at the other end of the spectrum, there’s a lot of harm going on there as well, where parenting feel a kid can’t be successful unless the parent is protecting and preventing at every turn and hovering over every happening and micromanaging every moment, and steering their kid towards some small subset of colleges and careers….our kids end up leading a kind of check-listed childhood, she goes on to say, such that, she warns that once they end up at the end of high school they are breathless—of course—they have spent so much time having been obsessed with grades and activities—becoming what they are supposed to be rather than exploring who they may want to become. What interests them. And knowing, with their own brains and experimenting with their own grit and their own skills—to develop into a self-sufficient, resilient adult. So it begs the question—what can we do to break free from the overparenting trap that says we must be on our children every minute prodding and directing, being our child’s concierge, as Julie Lythcott-Haims labels, and instead, preparing our children to become successful adults who can stand on their own two feet.
As we discuss conversations on this podcast— key conversations we must have with our children about tough topics— sex, death, divorce, porn, failure, ADHD, bullying— discussions where emotions can run high, agendas can cloud openness and listening and true presence— fear can make us shy away from saying what truly needs to be said, or heard or understood. What if there was a step that we needed to take before we had these all important conversations— a step that acknowledged the importance of dignity for each person— to hold another person’s dignity as precious and valuable while also knowing that our own would be kept in tact as well. How might that affect these key conversations we have with our partners, with our children, with teachers, instructors, coaches— people who touch our lives and help to shape how they evolve. And what if we focused on dignity as a fundamental part of raising our children to become leaders— showing and discussing how we can lead with dignity and create a culture that brings out the best in people? For these questions and more, we turn to our distinguished guest, Dr. Donna Hicks.
There is no question- there has been a marked increase in children diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, ADHD, dyslexia, Tourette Syndrome, and other neurological disorders. We have also heard of increases in food sensitivities, social problems, screen usage and medication use and a decrease in getting out into nature, going out for recess and unstructured play. Are these things connected? And if so, what can we do about it all? To answer these questions and more, we are turning to Dr. Robert Melillo.
Dr. Robert Melillo is a world-renowned chiropractic neurologist, professor and researcher in child neurological disorders, and creator of the Brain Balance Program. Since 1994, his program has helped thousands of children with autism spectrum disorder, ADHD, dyslexia, Tourette Syndrome, and other disorders. His Brain Balance Achievement Centers are located throughout the United States. He is the author of Disconnected Kids, Disconnected Kids, Reconnected Families, Reconnected Kids and more. You can learn more about Dr. Melillo and his work at DrRobertMelillo.com
Perhaps you’ve made the mistake of cutting your child’s sandwich into triangles instead of squares. Or you’ve dealt with siblings that won’t stop fighting, a child who refuses to get out of bed or cries when you try to leave the house. And perhaps your child’s struggles, tantrums, refusals, frustrations have gotten a little bit under your skin and made you hot under the collar— and while you tell yourself to be patient and loving, you start yelling, threatening, bribing or caving under the pressure. We get it. SO many parents feel helpless, desperate and frustrated when their kids just won’t cooperate or seem so unreasonable and you are just trying to get out of the house, get them to bed or get dinner on the table. My guests today will give us what to do and say in these moments using their ALP system that they’ve taught thousands of parents in their clinical practice over the years.
Heather Turgeon MFT and Julie Wright MFT are the authors of the new book Now Say This: The right words to solve every parenting dilemma (Penguin RandomHouse), as well as the popular sleep book, The Happy Sleeper. Based in NYC and Los Angeles, they frequently speak and offer consultations to families on communication, setting limits with empathy, sleep, and more. Follow them on Instagram and Facebook @TheHappySleeper
Author Bonnie J Rough lived in Holland for 18 months and found that the Dutch clearly knew something different about how to raise happy, healthy children who were comfortable with their own bodies and with each other. Their carefree attitudes about nudity and how they explain sex to kids is something we should probably adopt given that, compared to the US, Holland boasts lower rates of teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases as well as high gender equality, lower numbers of partners and more positive experiences with sex over all. Yes, we’ve got a lot to learn here.
Parents have struggled with how to manage their time for generations. There is so much to do— so much to balance! In the age of extracurriculars— from travel baseball, soccer, gymnastics, piano, to tutoring classes, art and enrichment, the question of how to fit everything in, complete the car pool, get dinner on the table, help with homework, get to the store, get some work done, give your kids undivided attention—and still take care of yourself—seems nearly impossible. How do we do this? DO we do all of this? To hold our hands and help us all shift from having it all to getting it right in the moment— is best-selling author, Julie Morgenstern.
In 2006, Tarana Burke coined the phrase “Me Too” as a way to help women who had survived sexual violence feel like they were not alone. A year ago this week, actress Alyssa Milano reignited “me too” with a tweet that stated “If you’ve been sexually harassed or assaulted write ‘me too’ as a reply to this tweet.” This was in the wake of accusations against movie mogul Harvey Weinstein and other powerful men in Hollywood. Since then, “me too” has become a movement among women who have been sexually harassed. Since then, a great deal of reports have come out and “metoo” has gained great traction among adults. But what about our teens? How are they experiencing sexual harassment and violence? Believe or not, 7 out of 10 girls experience sexual harassment and alarmingly, 1 in 4 girls will experience sexual assault or abuse before she turns 18. A recently released survey of young girls reveals that 3 out of 4 girls between the ages of 14 and 19 feel unsafe at least once in a while. At the root of this problem are limiting and harmful messages about how girls and boys should behave and be treated—messages that shape these impressionable minds and stick with them as they enter adulthood. As a response, and in honor of the 1 year anniversary of the week, Girls Inc, a nonprofit organization that inspires all girls to be strong, smart and bold through direct service and advocacy, along with its amazing network of girls and partners, are launching the #girlstoo campaign. This campaign will focus on sexual harassment and assault in the lives of youth, particularly girls, with actions aimed at addressing the norms and stereotypes that fuel these behaviors. To discuss how we talk about sexual harassment, assault and violence—and what we can all do ensure that our young people are educated, safe, respected and valued, we have Lara Kaufmann and Dr. Christia Spears Brown on the show today.
This podcast will focus on how white kids are being educated about race and racism in America. While we know from research that black families teach their children about social inequalities, race and racism from an early age, what are white families doing? Are families and communities a place where white kids learn to become racist or a space where they learn to be antiracist or race-conscious? Do white kids learn, within the family paradigm, to challenge racial inequalities? Dr. Margaret Hagerman talks about her research and her new book: White kids: Growing Up With Privilege in a Racially Divided America. It’s an important topic that many people avoid out of discomfort or confusion with regard to how to discuss it. We get right into it on How to Talk to Kids about Anything.
Dr. Tim Elmore is a best-selling author and CEO of Growing Leaders, a global non-profit organization created to empower students with real-life leadership skills. Tim’s expertise on the emerging generation has led to media coverage in The Huffington Post, The Wall Street Journal, Forbes.com, USA Today and The Washington Post. He has also appeared on CNN’s Headline News and Fox and Friends to discuss how to lead Millennials and Generation Z. Tim’s latest books include Marching Off the Map: Inspire Students to Navigate a Brand New World and 12 Huge Mistakes Parents Can Avoid.