Childhood is supposed to be filled with good times and laughs—but of course, some children may experience a significant loss during their childhood or adolescence. It’s actually more common than you might think. According to the Childhood Bereavement Estimation Model, as of 2021, one in 14 American children will experience the death of a parent or sibling before the age of 18. Still, it’s not easy to talk about grief with adults, let alone kids—but as the key adults in our children’s lives, we need to be able to step in and navigate ethe thoughts and feelings that they are experiencing as they cope with their loss. They likely will have many questions when a grandparents, parent, sibling or other close family member or friend dies. They might wonder if they are at fault, if they are safe and who will make their grilled cheese sandwich and take them to soccer if the person who passed away was the one who did those things for them. When we shut down, don’t talk about grief and death with kids or make the mistake of assuming if they aren’t talking about it, they must be fine, kids can wind up filling in their questions with their own answers based on misunderstandings and incorrect information. We need to help them get the conversation going through a variety of techniques that allows them (and also us!) to manage grief in productive ways. We’ve discussed talking about death and grief with Joe Primo, in the past, and we’ve talked about suicide with Dr. Dan Reidenberg and Dr. Jonathan Singer—and now we will discuss grief through a new lens with Katie Lear who uses child-friendly activities to comfort kids and help them to overcome sadness, fear and loss.

Imagine getting a knock on your door from someone who could derail your whole life and take away your child. That knock came for my next guest—not because she was abusing or neglecting her child, actually, quite the opposite- it was because she was listening and responding to her child in the most loving way possible. She was allowing her child to live life as the gender she felt she was—a girl. The topic of transgender youth has been contentious, to say the least. From the outside, when the person looking in is cis gender—meaning you were say, born and labeled a girl at birth and, you feel like a girl, it can be hard to imagine that some people don’t feel that alignment. The only way that I feel like we can really explain that is to switch it– for you to imagine that other people are referring to you, if you are a girl or a woman, as a boy or a man—with pronouns that reflect that, names that reflect that and you keep saying, but that’s not who I am! Some kids know from a very young age that they are not the gender they were assigned at birth. And it’s important to listen to this—because transgender people can have a very high suicide rate- a very high rate of being bullied, attacked, even murdered. Trans women, because they must contend with a profound amount of discrimination, also are at high risk of alcoholism, poverty, homelessness and lack of good healthcare. The solution is not fixing the transgender person but rather, acceptance. Let’s talk about it with my next guest who has personal experience with her own transgender child.

When I asked my next guest to come back on the show and I wanted to know what she’d like to discuss this time because she has such interesting perspective and a way with words—and she said, she’d like to talk about how “kids don’t thrive when they’re raised like dogs on a leash who have to go a certain way to please their owner (parent).” You see my next guest did this amazing, extremely popular Ted Talk in 2016 entitled “How to Raise Successful Kids- without Over-Parenting” which has just about 7, 500, 000 views now. And in it she talks about how mapping out our children’s every move, check-listing their childhood so that they get into the right colleges and get the right jobs doesn’t actually make a successful, fulfilled person unless success is only moving up a preconceived and narrow ladder that may not actually feel like success for your child. How can we, as parents, drop the rope—or the leash—that is keeping our children from their passions, from their individuality, from their destiny—and how can we talk to our children about embracing who they are, learning who they want to be and willingly taking the steps to forge their own path? For that, we are turning to Julie Lythcott-Haims.

What is to come for a child who is told he is garbage? Worthless? Beaten to the ground? I have often said that children who have the love, kindness and acceptance of an adult—or several adults—can be the difference. As you might remember me saying, Search Institute found that many young people don’t feel that they have at least 3 key adults to turn to in a time of need and challenge. Our next guest had a very hard start to his life—abused by his father and watching his mother and siblings meet that same fate. He survived the streets of Kampala Uganda and, due to the potential that someone saw in him- wound up going to school and altering his life for the better in every possible way. My next guest will help us to understand how to talk to kids about acceptance and true self-worth. He has a remarkable story.

Many of us have been there. We walk out of an appointment with our child’s doctor or teacher and we feel concerned—and a whole host of other feelings from fear to anger to sadness, confusion and of course, love. We all hope that our children are healthy and cruise through life fairly unscathed- so when reality hits and we hear that our child has common challenges like ADHD or learning disabilities or more severe challenges like feeding issues, asthma, food allergies, anxiety or depression, we can become alarmed. As we may flip into roles beyond the typical parenting caregiver to medical scheduler, diagnosis researcher, health advocate and more- we may find that money, time, access and a feeling of calm is in short supply. What can we do to cope with and talk with our kids about challenging medical diagnoses and how to proceed through life with one? For this, we turn to Dr. Kelly Fradin.