How to talk to kids about resourcefulness with Scott Sonenshein

Special Guest: Scott Sonenshein

This podcast provides:

Tips: How to help our kids do more with less and become more resourceful. How can we be more creative? Scott also talks about taking “field trips,” creative atypical birthday parties, reaffirming play, modeling, little seed creativity.

Scripts: Saying no to our children, what to say when your child wants a new toy

Steps: Taking a child through how to be resourceful when wanting a new toy. How can we look at what we have in unique ways?

Barriers to success: By saying yes to everything we create a dependence on “more stuff” and we rob our kids of the ability to get creative.

How to Raise Joyful Kids In a Stressful World with Katie Hurley

Special Guest: Katie Hurley

This podcast provides:

Tips: Katie talks about watching for stress-signs, encouraging play, dealing with differences between parents and children, using empathic listening, using stress words and problem-solving, stop and label, self care, body mapping, deep breathing.

Scripts: Instead of problem solving, use some empathic listening and reflect back what your child is saying. Examples are given. Also how to talk to kids about pitching in when parents are stressed out (and ask for help when they are!).

Barriers to success: Differences between how parents and children cope with stress (coming from different worlds).

How to Talk to Kids About Divorce with Christina McGhee

Special Guest: Christina McGhee

This podcast provides:

Tips: How to prepare to tell the kids about divorce and what to know, when best to say it and what to do if you are going to do so. The dos and don’ts of talking to kids about divorce.

Scripts: What to say, step by step, when you need to tell your kids about a divorce in the family.

Steps: The steps to take before you talk to your kids about getting a divorce.

Barriers to success: Putting the kids in the middle, our own feelings about the experience, our assumption that our kids are “fine” and already know and understand.

The Seven Silencing Reasons We Don’t Have Tough Conversations with Our Kids

Sex. Death. Porn. Divorce. Conversations like these often make us squirm in our seats– even before we have these talks with our kids. So what happens? We wait. Sometimes we don’t have them at all.

Why don’t we have these tough conversations?

  1. We don’t know what to say: These conversations don’t exactly role off the tongue. Where do we start? How do we explain it? We feel awkward and out-of-our element. Even if we speak with others for a living, conversations with our favorite little humans can challenge us in ways that co-workers, students or someone else’s kids never could.
  2. They are embarrassing, uncomfortable or emotionally charged: Discussions about sex, divorce or death aren’t easy. There is a lot of emotion behind them that come from our own hang-ups, experiences and hot-buttons– sometimes on both sides. It doesn’t help that the more awkward and emotional we feel about them, the more our children tend to react to and absorb those emotions.
  3. We are afraid that we won’t know all the answers: What if our kids ask us something that we simply don’t know how to answer? We worry about feeling unprepared.
  4. These conversations can feel taboo: Are we supposed to be talking about this stuff? After all, in many cases, our parents didn’t talk about it with us. These are words we usually don’t say or speak about in hushed tones– or at least only with our closest friends.
  5. We feel our kids won’t want to discuss them with us: We may think that the kids would rather do something– anything- rather than talking to us about these tough topics. They might think they are weird, embarrassing or totally off-the-charts gross.
  6. We don’t know when to have them: Are our children really old enough to hear this? How do I say it in a way that won’t scare them? How do I say it so that they understand? When do I start these conversations with my kids?
  7. We assume they already know: This is the ultimate way to bury our heads in the sand. Maybe they already know! Someone must have spoken to them about this stuff– maybe even you- and they are all set now because that talk is crossed off your list.

While there are countless reasons why we don’t want to have these key conversations with our kids– there are just as many reasons why we must. Our kids need us to be open and honest with them so that they know they can trust us, ask us anything, come to us when the sh*t hits the fan or when life gets confusing or uncomfortable. It’s time to get comfortable with getting uncomfortable– let’s have these talks and let’s have them often. Today is as good of a day as any.

Need help? We’ve got the tips and scripts you might need right now- I want to help! With the top experts in their area, my podcast, How to Talk to Kids about Anything, gives tips, scripts, stories and steps to make even the toughest conversations easier. More are added each week. And there is no topic we won’t cover.

We’re here– and you’ve got this!

How to Talk to Kids About Anger & Big Feelings with Wendy Young

Special Guest: Wendy Young

This podcast provides:

Tips:
How to co-regulate
How to get off the anger merry-go-round.
How to use “a bug and a wish.”
How to help kids realize the anger cues
How to construct a mad box and why
How to process the feelings and interactions after the incident is over.
Speaking out loud about our own anger and how we process it
N.O.W. Learn how to Normalize, Offer opportunities/strategies, Work with children on managing big feelings

Scripts:
What to say when your children have big feelings and are showing intensity.
How to help children describe how big their feelings are at that moment.
Helping kids know what to do when they want to engage in negative behaviors- what can we do instead?
How to give hope when helping kids managing big, intense feelings
How to process the feelings after the incident is over
Walking through the steps of calming down our anger out loud.
Exactly what to say when children are in the throws of messy feelings.

10 Powerful Conversation Starters to Teach Kids Confidence

Do you want your children to learn how to be confident but you aren’t sure how to start the conversation? The Powerful Word of the Month for June is Confidence! Confidence us a combination of trust, conviction and assuredness. Confident people are aware of their strengths (but don’t brag about them) and they also know their weaknesses and what they need to work on (but don’t shame themselves). They have a feeling of inner certainty and overall, believe in themselves.

Gather your kids around the dinner table, talk to them in the car, chat on a walk or snuggle in to discuss before bed– there is no perfect time so anytime will do! The key? To have the conversations. Yes, just have them. Our children want to hear what we have to say and want the opportunity to tell you what they think! The more we talk to kids about their lives and what they believe, the more likely they are to share.

Even kids who try new things and walk into a room with an air of confidence can feel nervous, worried, scared or shy at times. These skills are for everyone.

Ask questions like; where and when do you feel the most confident and sure of yourself? What advice would you have for a friend who wasn’t feeling confident? What are some ways you can show that you are confident? Of course, share your own feelings and stories as well. Kids love hearing how we have overcome feelings of insecurity– stories can inspire, explain and give everyone a feeling that what they are going through is normal!

Enjoy these 10 powerful conversation starters- and let me know how they go! Feel free to share!

Warm regards,

PS The podcast episode released this week is about courage- a cousin of confidence- so listen in to How to Talk to Kids about Being Brave with expert guest and best-selling author, Margie Warrell!