How to Talk to Kids about Creating Value in Their Lives with Lee Benson
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Mini Synopsis:
In this powerful episode of How to Talk to Kids about Anything, Dr. Robyn Silverman interviews Lee Benson, author of Value Creation Kid and founder of the Dinner Table Method. Together, they explore how families can foster meaningful conversations, healthy struggle, financial competence, and purpose through value creation.
INTRODUCTION:
We all want to protect our kids and see them succeed. But sometimes, as parents, we get a little mixed up. It’s normal. We think we are helping, so we jump in when we see our kid struggling. We take over. We take away the struggle—and then, not meaning to, we also take away the learning and the confidence and competence that comes from that learning. This can jeopardize our children’s future. So, how can we prepare our children to take on struggles, find solutions, set expectations and earn money, and grow their responsibility and grit? For that, we are turning to our next guest, Lee Benson.
Bio:
Lee Benson is a sought-after speaker and author on the topics of value creation, leadership, execution, and strategy. He is also the CEO of Dinner Table, formerly Gravy Stack, a 20,000-strong active community of parents, all on the journey to giving their children the capabilities and confidence to succeed. He is the coauthor of Value Creation Kid, a Wall Street Journal bestseller, which we will be talking about today.
Important Messages:
Start with Value Creation(Lee Benson) “The dinner table method is really about creating a value creation culture in families. It’s not just about money. It’s about material value, emotional energy value, and spiritual value. What does it feel like to be a part of the family? What’s your contribution to how others feel? Even young children, as early as four, can start to grasp this.”
Emotional Energy is a Superpower(Lee Benson) “I think positive emotional energy is the scarcest commodity on the planet. That’s what we focus on with families. Kids can light up a room and not even know it’s their superpower. But once they do, they can also learn not to dim the light of others or take the energy down.”
Creating Connection through Rituals(Lee Benson) “Whether you’re religious or not, being spiritually connected to the people you love and your community is key. That’s a type of value creation too—deepening the strength of your connections.”
Financial Competency Matters More Than Literacy(Lee Benson) “Financial literacy isn’t enough. We need competency. Kids need to know why they’re learning to save or budget, not just how. When they’re managing a budget and see how every line item matters, that’s when the lessons stick.”
Don’t Waste the Dinner Table(Lee Benson) “Every dinner is a chance to ask your kids: ‘How do you want to create value in the world?’ Just a few intentional conversations per week can change the trajectory of how kids view their role in the family and the larger community.”
Boot Camp for Adulthood(Lee Benson) “Our homes should be a loving boot camp for adulthood. We’re preparing our kids to function independently and with integrity. So if they’re not contributing to the family, we adjust their freedoms accordingly—not as punishment, but as preparation.”
Every Child Has Value Creation Superpowers(Lee Benson) “Every child has a superpower that can create value in the world. It’s our job to help them discover and develop it, even if it starts with something small.”
The Real Purpose of Education(Lee Benson) “The purpose of education should be to help kids create value in the world—not just get grades or diplomas. Right now, we’re too focused on tests, and not enough on helping kids find out what they’re meant to do.”
Ask Better Questions(Dr. Robyn Silverman) “When kids say things like ‘I don’t need this math for life’ or ‘This book is boring,’ we need to reframe the discussion. Ask them: ‘How might this help you create value in the world someday?'”
Struggle Builds Capability(Lee Benson) “We define struggle as any effort to improve a life condition or develop a character trait. Healthy struggle is vital. The best opportunities are always buried in struggle. If we take those away from our kids, we take away growth.”
House Rules Build Structure(Lee Benson) “Every family member has a job. It’s not just chores—it’s emotional and spiritual contribution too. When kids know their job and do it well, they gain more freedom. If not, we lovingly scale back.”
Budgeting Should Be a Team Sport(Lee Benson) “Even six-year-olds can have a line item they’re responsible for. When everyone has a role, kids learn the value of money—and the importance of making decisions that affect the whole family.”
Victimhood Doesn’t Serve Kids(Lee Benson) “When we dig too much into the why without action, we risk giving kids permission to be victims. Instead, we should teach them to focus on value even in the face of obstacles.”
Struggling is Not Failing(Lee Benson) “If it’s hard, it doesn’t mean something’s wrong. Struggle is like exercise. It’s how we grow. Let’s not fix what’s working just because it’s tough.”
Use the “I Care Maybe 10%” Moments(Lee Benson) “When kids push back, like the girl who left an apple in her room and said, ‘I care maybe 10%,’ it’s a chance to have a values-based conversation, not just a discipline moment.”
Rituals Help Ground the Family(Dr. Robyn Silverman) “I love how rituals, like a weekly check-in or dinner theme, anchor families. They create space for emotional connection and reflection. This structure actually boosts freedom, not restricts it.”
Launching Into Adulthood Starts Early(Lee Benson) “We begin the work of adulthood now, not at 18. Every habit, every expectation we set helps our kids take ownership of their futures.”
Kids Need a “Why” to Stay Engaged(Lee Benson) “Once kids understand why they’re learning or doing something, they engage differently. That’s why we talk about value creation from the start.”
Community is the Secret Ingredient(Lee Benson) “The best work we’re doing is building community. Parents dropping each other’s kids off. Families sharing resources. We’re seeing what it means to raise children together.”
It’s Never Too Late(Lee Benson) “A dad in my group had kids in their 40s. He left almost in tears, saying he wished he had done all this sooner. But he’s starting now—and that’s powerful. It’s never too late.”
Struggle Isn’t a Problem—It’s a Pathway (Lee Benson) “If we got stronger by not exercising, we wouldn’t go to the gym. Struggle is what builds us. We need to stop thinking something is wrong just because it’s hard.”
Community Over Victimhood (Lee Benson) “Sometimes we give kids permission to be victims by over-explaining the why. Let’s instead help them focus on creating value. When they hit obstacles, let’s teach them to work through it and come out stronger.”
Every Family Can Create Value Together (Lee Benson) “We have families where every line item in the budget has a sponsor—even a six-year-old might be responsible for one. When kids start to see their impact, they show up with purpose. That’s a household aligned on value creation.”
Notable Quotables:
“Positive emotional energy is the scarcest commodity on the planet—and it supercharges everything.” – Lee Benson
“Every child has value creation superpowers. Whether they’re aware of it or not, our job is to help them discover them.” – Lee Benson
“The dinner table is sacred. Don’t waste it.” – Lee Benson
“Struggle is any effort to improve a life condition or develop a capability. And yes—it’s good.” – Lee Benson
“When kids know their job in the family, they gain freedom. When they don’t, we lovingly scale it back.” – Lee Benson
“If we keep rescuing our kids from struggle, we rob them of growth, confidence, and resilience.” – Dr. Robyn Silverman
“Ask your child: How do you want to create value in the world? That question changes everything.” – Lee Benson
“There’s no deadline for growth. It’s never too late to start.” – Lee Benson
“Creating value isn’t just about money—it’s about emotional energy and connectedness too.” – Lee Benson
“Education shouldn’t just be about getting a degree. It should be about discovering purpose.” – Lee Benson
“We’re raising kids in a world of noise. Value creation puts up a shield against that noise.” – Lee Benson
“Your job as a parent is not to eliminate struggle, but to prepare your child to face it with confidence.” – Dr. Robyn Silverman
“We’re not just building kids. We’re building legacy.” – Lee Benson
“When kids discover how they want to create value, school and life suddenly make more sense.” – Lee Benson
“What would be different if all of our kids were financially competent?” – Lee Benson
“It’s not about being perfect—it’s about being present, intentional, and willing to grow together.” – Dr. Robyn Silverman
“Struggle is not the enemy. It’s the invitation to become who we’re meant to be.” – Lee Benson
Start with Value Creation (Lee Benson)
It’s Never Too Late (Lee Benson)
“Positive emotional energy is the scarcest commodity on the planet—and it supercharges everything.” – Lee Benson
