How to Support Kids’ Mental Health in the Digital Age with Kruti Kanojia

Feature Image from the “How to Talk to Kids about Anything” podcast with guest Kruti Kanojia with Dr. Robyn Silverman

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Mini Synopsis:

In this episode, Dr. Robyn Silverman and Kruti Kanojia, CEO of Healthy Gamer, discuss practical ways parents can support their children’s mental health in the digital age. Together, they explore the psychological needs behind gaming and social media, strategies for setting boundaries, and how to create strong parent-child alliances that lead to healthier screen habits and stronger family relationships.

INTRODUCTION:

Mental health is a huge concern in today’s world, especially for kids and teens growing up surrounded by screens, video games, and the constant presence of social media. It’s no secret that the digital age brings both challenges and opportunities, but you might be wondering, how the heck am I supposed to get my kids off these screens? How can I help them live with these screens without being completely taken in by them so they actually live life and get their work done? How can I talk to my kids about their screen use or set boundaries that work since it’s a constant issue in our home? As parents and educators, we want to support the mental health of our kids in this technology-based online environment. Today, we’re speaking with someone who’s truly at the forefront of this conversation, Kruti Kanojia. We’ll be diving into everything from how video games and online platforms meet psychological needs to practical strategies for building stronger parent-child alliances and ways to raise what she and her business partner and husband call, a healthy gamer.

Bio:

Kruti Kanojia is the CEO and co-founder of Healthy Gamer, a company transforming mental health care for the digital generation. With over a decade of experience building impactful media and social enterprises, Kruti has made it her mission to make mental health resources affordable, accessible, and tailored to the unique needs of today’s youth.

She also leads the Healthy Gamer Foundation, which focuses on research and advocacy to scale mental health interventions for families and young people. Under her leadership, Healthy Gamer has become a beacon for parents navigating the tricky waters of screens, gaming, and youth mental health.

Important Messages:

Understanding Kids’ Digital Needs (Kruti Kanojia): Video games like Fortnite or Minecraft reveal what kids are craving—competition, creativity, or community. The way your child interacts with a game can tell you a lot about what they’re seeking, whether it’s a sense of achievement, connection, or an escape from boredom. It’s not just escapism; it’s about filling unmet psychological needs in their real life. Parents who take the time to understand these needs can start building alternative ways to meet them outside of the digital world. This insight lays the foundation for healthier relationships with screens.
Avoiding Punitive Parenting (Kruti Kanojia): Traditional parenting strategies like locking away the game console or taking away devices often backfire. If you say, ‘My house, my rules,’ you risk driving a wedge between yourself and your child. Instead of framing it as a battle, think of it as you and your child against the problem. A collaborative approach fosters trust and respect, which are critical for lasting change. Kids respond better when they feel heard and supported rather than controlled.
Recognizing the Positive Side of Gaming (Kruti Kanojia): For some kids, gaming isn’t just a pastime; it’s their lifeline. A child who feels isolated at school may find genuine friendship and connection in online gaming communities. These spaces can provide a sense of belonging, leadership opportunities, and even emotional support. It’s important to acknowledge these benefits before assuming that gaming is inherently harmful. Understanding this perspective allows parents to have more balanced conversations about screen time.
Building Alliances with Kids ( Robyn Silverman): When parents approach gaming and screen time as a team effort, it changes the dynamic entirely. It’s no longer ‘me against you,’ but ‘us against the problem.’ This approach encourages open communication and collaboration, making it easier to address issues together. Kids who feel like their parents are on their side are more willing to listen and compromise. This alliance strengthens the parent-child relationship and creates a healthier framework for setting boundaries.
Effective Boundary Setting (Kruti Kanojia): Parents often try to set boundaries in the heat of the moment, but this is rarely effective. Instead, choose a calm moment to discuss your child’s goals and how screen time fits into those goals. For example, if your child wants to perform better in school, link screen limits to that aspiration. By involving them in the process, they’re more likely to respect the rules. Boundary-setting becomes less about control and more about shared values and goals.
The Role of Individualized Parenting (Kruti Kanojia): Parenting strategies must be tailored to each child’s unique personality and needs. One of my children thrives on competition, while the other craves creativity. The same approach won’t work for both. Take the time to understand what drives your child—whether it’s achievement, exploration, or connection—and adapt your approach accordingly. This individualized strategy helps your child feel seen and supported.
Focusing on Connection Over Control (Kruti Kanojia): If your child’s door is always closed, it’s time to focus on connection rather than control. Plan activities that allow you to spend quality time together offline, like camping, going for a drive, or simply playing a board game. These shared moments create space for meaningful conversations without the pressure of confrontation. When kids feel connected to their parents, they’re more likely to open up about their needs and challenges.
Encouraging Offline Engagement (Kruti Kanojia): For kids who are deeply engaged in gaming, find offline equivalents that align with their interests. A competitive gamer might enjoy joining a local league, while a creative gamer might thrive in a coding or art club. It’s about translating their passions into real-world activities. These alternatives can provide balance and help kids maintain a healthy relationship with screens.
Rebuilding Trust Through Collaboration (Dr. Robyn Silverman): When parents involve their kids in setting rules, it rebuilds trust. Ask your child what they think is fair, and involve them in deciding consequences if rules are broken. This process gives them a sense of ownership and respect for the boundaries. It’s not about imposing control but about creating a shared understanding. This approach makes kids more likely to follow through with agreed-upon limits.
Recognizing Gaming as a Skill Builder (Kruti Kanojia): Gamers develop incredible skills—teamwork, perseverance, and problem-solving. These aren’t just in-game skills; they can translate into real-world success when nurtured. For example, kids who lead online teams often show leadership qualities that can be developed further. Understanding the positive aspects of gaming allows parents to encourage their child’s growth while addressing concerns about balance.
Shifting From Opposition to Curiosity (Dr. Robyn Silverman): Parents often view gaming with suspicion, but leaning into curiosity can change the dynamic. Instead of assuming the worst, ask your child to teach you about their favorite game. These moments can be eye-opening and can help parents understand what their children love about gaming. It’s an opportunity to connect and show your child that you value their interests. This curiosity paves the way for better communication and collaboration.
Facilitating Online-Offline Transitions (Kruti Kanojia): If your child’s friends are all online, facilitate ways to bring them together offline. Hosting a gaming weekend or arranging in-person meetups can help bridge the gap between digital and real-world relationships. These interactions make screen time feel less isolating and more balanced. It also helps parents understand the social aspect of their child’s gaming habits. This small step can strengthen connections both within and beyond the digital space.
The Power of Driving Conversations (Kruti Kanojia): One of the best ways to talk with kids is during a drive. Without direct eye contact, the conversation feels less confrontational, and kids are often more willing to open up. Use these moments to ask about their goals, struggles, or how they feel about their screen time. These casual, low-pressure conversations can lead to deeper insights into your child’s world. It’s a simple yet powerful way to foster trust and understanding.
Addressing the Root Causes of Mental Health Struggles (Kruti Kanojia): We’re quick to diagnose kids with anxiety or depression, but often these issues stem from unmet social or emotional needs. By addressing the underlying causes—like loneliness, stress, or a lack of purpose—we can create lasting change. Therapy or coaching can be helpful, but it’s most effective when the child is ready and willing to engage. Parents need to dig deeper to understand what’s really going on in their child’s life. Focusing on these root causes often brings more effective and sustainable solutions than treating symptoms alone.
Understanding Boys’ Vulnerability to Screens (Kruti Kanojia): Boys often gravitate toward gaming because it provides structure, goals, and community that they may not find elsewhere. For some, gaming fills a gap left by school or social environments where they feel unsupported or unchallenged. Parents should explore their son’s interests and help channel those into offline activities that build similar skills and connections. By doing so, they can reduce the isolating effects of excessive screen use and help their sons develop well-rounded habits. It’s about finding balance while still valuing what the online world offers.
Long-Term Commitment to Change (Kruti Kanojia): Supporting kids in the digital age requires a long-term commitment. It’s not about quick fixes or one-time conversations but about consistently showing up for your child. Change happens gradually, and parents must be patient and adaptable. Small steps, like setting boundaries or engaging in offline activities, add up over time. Building a strong parent-child bond is the foundation for sustainable growth, and this requires consistency and empathy.
Celebrating Progress, Not Perfection (Dr. Robyn Silverman): Every small step toward healthier screen use is worth celebrating. It’s not about getting everything right all at once—it’s about making steady progress. When parents focus on positive changes, it reinforces good habits and motivates kids to keep going. Celebrating progress, no matter how small, builds confidence and encourages a growth mindset. This approach helps families create a supportive and understanding environment for long-term success.
Empowering Kids to Set Their Own Goals (Kruti Kanojia): Involving kids in creating boundaries and goals helps them feel a sense of ownership. Instead of imposing rules, ask your child what they think is a fair limit on screen time or gaming hours. By collaborating on these decisions, you show them respect and trust, making them more likely to adhere to the boundaries. This approach teaches responsibility and empowers kids to develop their own healthy habits. It’s a partnership that fosters mutual understanding and cooperation.
Recognizing the Broader Context of Screen Use (Dr. Robyn Silverman): Screens aren’t the enemy; they’re a tool. Understanding why kids are drawn to them—whether it’s for connection, achievement, or relaxation—helps parents approach the issue with empathy and effectiveness. When parents see screens as a means to an end rather than the root of the problem, they can better address underlying needs. This perspective shifts the focus from conflict to understanding and creates a healthier dynamic for the entire family.
The Importance of Patience (Kruti Kanojia): Supporting kids’ mental health isn’t a quick fix. It’s a process that unfolds over months or even years. Rushing to solutions often misses the bigger picture, as true change takes time. Instead, take the time to understand what’s truly going on and work towards gradual improvements. Patience allows parents to approach challenges thoughtfully and fosters trust and openness in the relationship.
The Role of Parents as Guides, Not Enforcers (Kruti Kanojia): Parents should see themselves as guides who help their kids navigate challenges, rather than enforcers of rigid rules. By offering support, empathy, and practical advice, parents can help their kids make better choices independently. This approach builds resilience and self-confidence in children. Instead of forcing compliance, focus on teaching values and skills that kids can carry into adulthood. It’s about empowering kids to thrive in both the digital and real worlds.
Teaching Kids to Balance Screen Use (Dr. Robyn Silverman): Balance is key when it comes to screen use. It’s not about eliminating screens entirely but about helping kids integrate them into a well-rounded life. Encourage activities that complement their digital interests, like joining a coding class or taking up a physical hobby that mirrors their gaming achievements. This holistic approach ensures kids can enjoy the benefits of technology without letting it dominate their lives. Teaching balance is an ongoing process that requires creativity and collaboration.

Notable Quotables:

“Gaming reveals kids’ deepest cravings—competition, creativity, and connection. By understanding what draws them in, parents can better meet their children’s needs in real life, reducing the reliance on screens.” – Kruti Kanojia
“Punitive parenting doesn’t teach discipline; it creates defiance. Collaborative parenting builds trust and mutual respect, paving the way for healthier screen habits.” – Kruti Kanojia
“It’s not you against your child; it’s you and your child working together against the problem of unhealthy screen use. This shift in perspective makes all the difference.” – Dr. Robyn Silverman
“When parents lean into curiosity instead of suspicion, it opens doors to meaningful conversations. Ask your child to teach you about their favorite game, and you’ll see their world in a whole new way.” – Dr. Robyn Silverman
“For many kids, gaming communities provide connection and belonging they might not find elsewhere. These spaces are often lifelines for emotional and social support.” – Kruti Kanojia
“Punishment creates sneaky kids; connection creates trust. The more you connect with your child, the more they’ll open up to you.” – Kruti Kanojia
“Gamers develop incredible skills—strategy, teamwork, and perseverance—that can lead to real-world success when nurtured with the right support.” – Kruti Kanojia
“If your child’s screen use feels excessive, start with connection, not control. Spend time with them offline doing something they love, and you’ll build a stronger bond.” – Kruti Kanojia
“Parenting isn’t about perfection; it’s about progress. Celebrate every small step forward, and you’ll create a positive cycle of change.” – Dr. Robyn Silverman
“Not all screen time is isolating; for some kids, it’s their way of staying connected and supported. Understanding their perspective changes everything.” – Kruti Kanojia
“Effective boundaries come from calm, collaborative conversations, not heated ultimatums. Setting rules together makes them far more likely to stick.” – Kruti Kanojia
“Quality time offline strengthens your bond with your child, making it easier to address challenges like screen time together. Connection is the key to change.” – Dr. Robyn Silverman
“When parents involve kids in setting boundaries, it shifts the dynamic. Kids are more likely to follow rules they help create.” – Kruti Kanojia
“Screen time isn’t the enemy; it’s how we use it that matters. Balance and understanding are the keys to building healthier habits.” – Dr. Robyn Silverman
“Change doesn’t happen overnight. Supporting kids’ mental health in the digital age requires patience, consistency, and a long-term commitment.” – Kruti Kanojia