How to Reconnect with Kids in a Disconnected World with Dr. Jody Carrington
Hi everyone! I’m thrilled to share my parenting insights with you. If you found value in this episode, kindly leave an iTunesreview. Stay updated on parenting tips by following me.
Mini Synopsis:
In this episode, Dr. Robyn Silverman sits down with Dr. Jody Carrington to talk about what it really means to reconnect with our kids, and ourselves, in a world where disconnection has become the norm. They explore why big people matter most, how to handle big emotions, and what it takes to truly “walk each other home” when we’re lost. With honesty, humor, and compassion, Dr. Jody reminds us that we were never meant to do any of this alone — and that when we feel seen, we rise.
INTRODUCTION:
Disconnection is becoming one of the greatest challenges of our time. We’re surrounded by technology and yet feeling more alone than ever. Our kids are anxious, overwhelmed, and often struggling in silence, while we, the adults in their lives, are exhausted, burned out, and searching for answers. But what if the answer isn’t in doing more, but in being more present? What if what our kids—and we—really need is to be truly seen? When we feel seen, we feel safe. When we feel seen, we rise. Reconnection isn’t just about proximity; it’s about presence, compassion, and rebuilding trust. Today, we’re diving into what it really means to show up for one another, even when we feel like we’ve lost our way.
Bio:
Dr. Jody Carrington is a clinical psychologist, bestselling author, and internationally recognized speaker known for her bold, honest, and deeply compassionate approach to human connection. She’s the founder of Carrington & Company, host of the podcast Everyone Comes from Somewhere, and author of Feeling Seen: Reconnecting in a Disconnected World and Kids These Days: A Game Plan for (Re)Connecting With Those We Teach, Lead, & Love. Dr. Jody works with parents, educators, and communities to help people understand how to navigate big emotions and build stronger relationships in a disconnected world. Her authentic, often hilarious style has inspired audiences around the globe to remember that we were never meant to do any of this alone.
Important Messages:
Connection is Non-Negotiable (Dr. Jody Carrington) “We are neurobiologically wired for connection, and when you disconnect an infant, they will die. That wiring never changes as we grow, our brains stay hungry for safe relationships. We’ve never been so resourced as a society, yet so lonely, so disconnected. It’s wild, isn’t it? And no matter what technology we invent, we can’t automate the healing power of human connection.”
We Have Forgotten to Look Up (Dr. Jody Carrington) “One of the hardest things we’ll ever do is to look each other in the eye. Our great-grandparents looked at their kids more than we do now, some say 70% more. Why does that matter? Because things like empathy and kindness aren’t taught through words alone. We can’t just tell our kids to care, they have to see it in our eyes.”
Your Regulation is Your Superpower (Dr. Jody Carrington) “When you’re a parent or a teacher, your regulation as a leader matters more than any kid’s behavior plan. You can’t calm a dysregulated child if you’re losing your mind. And kids know if you’re faking it. So we have to do the work every day, reminding ourselves that we can’t pour from an empty cup.”
Kids Need Us to Be Their Calm (Dr. Robyn Silverman) “I remind parents all the time that kids don’t need us to be perfect, they need us to be calm when they lose their way. A meltdown is a child’s way of saying, ‘I can’t do this alone.’ If we walk them home instead of pushing them away, that’s when true connection happens.”
The Loneliness Epidemic (Dr. Jody Carrington) “We talk so much about a mental health crisis, but what we really have is a loneliness epidemic. We’re more disconnected than ever, yet we keep telling people to just self-care their way out of it. It doesn’t work. The answer is not in doing more alone, it’s in being there for each other.”
Walk Them Home (Dr. Jody Carrington) “When kids are falling apart, they don’t need a time out to think about what they’ve done. They need us to walk them home. That’s our job, we’re all just here walking each other home. And when we forget, we can trust that someone will walk us back, too.”
Kids Aren’t the Problem (Dr. Jody Carrington) “I say this everywhere I go: the kids are not the problem. If you want better-behaved kids, you need regulated big people. It’s not about fixing them; it’s about supporting them through our own calm. If we’re not okay, they don’t stand a chance.”
Proximity Over Punishment (Dr. Jody Carrington) “Sending a kid to their room when they’re in the middle of a meltdown is for you, not for them. It doesn’t regulate them, it isolates them. Proximity matters. Stay close, take a breath, and remember they need you more than ever when they seem to deserve you the least.”
Light Up When They Walk In (Dr. Robyn Silverman) “One of my favorite things is to remember to light up when my kids walk in the room. It’s simple, but it says: you matter. You’re not another problem I have to fix today. It changes everything — for them and for me.”
The Power of the Small Stuff (Dr. Jody Carrington) “A drawer full of Starburst can be the difference between connection and disconnection. It’s the smallest things, remembering what they love, what they fear, what lights them up, that makes a kid feel seen. You don’t need grand gestures, you need presence.”
You’re Not That Good (Dr. Jody Carrington) “My next book is called ‘You’re Not That Good’ because it’s true. You can’t fix every problem or heal every wound. You’re not that good, and that’s actually freedom. It means you get to focus on the next best right thing, not on perfection.”
Chaos Teaches Calm (Dr. Jody Carrington) “If you want kids who are calm, you have to let them have chaos sometimes. Calm is learned through co-regulation, not control. It’s messy, and that’s okay. I’d rather have a kid who trusts me enough to show me their storm than one who hides it.”
Connection Before Correction (Dr. Robyn Silverman) “Before you correct your child, connect with them first. If you jump right to discipline, you miss the moment to say: I see you, I know you’re struggling, and I’m here. That’s what makes the correction stick.”
When You Fake It, They Feel It (Dr. Jody Carrington) “Kids are emotional detectives. They can sense when you’re trying to act calm but you’re really boiling inside. It’s why your own regulation is so important. You can’t fake your way to connection; they’ll call your bluff every time.”
Rest is Not Laziness (Dr. Jody Carrington) “Rest is a radical act these days. We’ve made the goal, but it’s killing us. When we rest, we restore our capacity to show up. Rest is not laziness, it’s survival.”
Look Them in the Eye (Dr. Robyn Silverman) “When you look your kids in the eye, you say: I see you. I hear you. You matter enough for me to stop and stay present. It’s the simplest gift we can give.”
The Next Best Right Thing (Dr. Jody Carrington) “When you feel like you’re failing, remind yourself: just do the next best right thing. You don’t have to fix everything. Show up, do what you can, and trust that’s enough.”
Notable Quotables:
• “We’re wired for connection. Disconnection is killing us faster than anything else.” – Dr. Jody Carrington • “The kids aren’t the problem, big people matter most.” – Dr. Jody Carrington • “When kids lose their way, our job is to walk them home.” – Dr. Jody Carrington • “When you light up for your child, you remind them they’re worth it.” – Dr. Robyn Silverman • “You can’t calm a kid if you’re losing your mind. Your regulation is your superpower.” – Dr. Jody Carrington • “Rest is not laziness, it’s how we survive so we can show up again.” – Dr. Jody Carrington • “Loneliness is the real epidemic. Connection is the cure.” – Dr. Jody Carrington • “A compliment can save a life. Never underestimate your words.” – Dr. Jody Carrington • “One drawer of Starburst can hold the secret to connection.” – Dr. Jody Carrington • “Calm is taught by example, not by force.” – Dr. Jody Carrington • “Chaos teaches calm if we stay close enough to help.” – Dr. Jody Carrington • “Look them in the eye. It’s the simplest way to say: you matter.” – Dr. Robyn Silverman • “Show up. Light up. That’s the work.” – Dr. Jody Carrington • “You’re not that good, and that’s a gift. Do what you can and let the rest go.” – Dr. Jody Carrington • “Kids don’t need perfect parents, they need present ones.” – Dr. Jody Carrington • “Connection before correction. Always.” – Dr. Robyn Silverman • “Proximity matters. Never send a kid away when they need you close.” – Dr. Jody Carrington
“Kids are emotional detectives. They can sense when you’re trying to act calm but you’re really boiling inside. It’s why your own regulation is so important. You can’t fake your way to connection; they’ll call your bluff every time.”
