How to Help Your Kid with ADHD Thrive in Today’s World with Dr. Catherine McCarthy
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Mini Synopsis:
In this episode, Dr. Robyn Silverman speaks with Dr. Catherine McCarthy about how parents can help children with ADHD thrive. Dr. McCarthy debunks common myths, explains the science behind ADHD, and shares research-backed strategies for supporting kids at home and school. Together, they discuss medication, impulse control, frustration in parenting, school accommodations, and long-term outcomes.
INTRODUCTION:
One of the most rigorously researched but still controversial topics as it relates to children and diagnoses is ADHD. ADHD, Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, is a developmental disorder characterized by a pattern of symptoms that may fall in categories such as inattention, hyperactivity, or impulsivity- or a combination of these. Perhaps you have a child who is diagnosed with ADHD or you know one- but the research is continually showing that ADHD is real—you can even see it on brain scans—and it’s notable because kids who are left to simply “figure it out” often struggle and then get blamed for that very same struggle. So what do we need to know about children with ADHD and how to help them? For this, we are turning to my friend, Dr. Catherine McCarthy.
Bio:
CATHERINE MCCARTHY, MD, is a board-certified Duke trained child and adolescent psychiatrist with over 25 years of clinical experience. Recognized as a “Top Doctor” by Washingtonian Magazine every year since 2008, she is passionately involved in mental health advocacy and education. A speaker and an author, she cowrote Raising a Kid Who Can, and was on this very podcast talking about it! I think she’s super smart and I’m proud to call her my friend.
Important Messages:
ADHD is Real and Well-Researched (Dr. Catherine McCarthy): ADHD isn’t just kids being “lazy” or “not trying hard enough”—it is one of the most rigorously studied neurodevelopmental disorders. The data is as strong as research on strep throat. Brain imaging studies show real structural and functional differences in kids with ADHD, particularly in the prefrontal cortex, which controls impulse regulation and attention.
ADHD is a Developmental Delay (Dr. Catherine McCarthy): ADHD is not a permanent inability to focus—it’s a delay in brain maturation. Studies show a three-year lag in the development of the prefrontal cortex, the brain’s “CEO” that handles planning, organization, and impulse control. By age 18, some kids with ADHD have caught up, while others continue to develop executive functions into their twenties.
Why ADHD Kids Struggle with Executive Function (Dr. Robyn Silverman): Many parents ask, “Why can’t my child just get their homework done like other kids?” The answer lies in brain development. The executive functioning part of the brain, which organizes, plans, and prioritizes tasks, is significantly delayed in kids with ADHD. It’s not laziness—it’s neurological.
Medication is Like Glasses for the Brain (Dr. Catherine McCarthy): Medication doesn’t “change” kids—it helps their brains function more effectively. Think of it like glasses for vision or braces for teeth—it supports what’s already there, helping them focus and self-regulate while their brain continues to develop.
The Risk of Not Treating ADHD (Dr. Catherine McCarthy): Kids with untreated ADHD face social and academic consequences. Without support, they are at higher risk for anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and rejection from peers. Feeling constantly behind or being labeled as “difficult” can lead kids to withdraw, act out, or stop trying altogether.
ADHD Medication Does Not Lead to Addiction (Dr. Catherine McCarthy): A common concern is that stimulant medication leads to substance abuse. However, research shows that kids who receive proper treatment for ADHD are actually at lower risk for substance abuse later in life because they develop better impulse control and self-regulation.
Supporting Kids Who Resist Taking Medication (Dr. Catherine McCarthy): Some kids don’t want to take medication because they worry it makes them “different” or feel pressure from peers. Parents can frame medication positively, comparing it to wearing glasses—a simple tool that helps them succeed.
Why Kids with ADHD “Lose” Everything (Dr. Robyn Silverman): Parents of ADHD kids know the struggle—forgotten assignments, lost papers, missed deadlines. It’s not intentional. Their brain struggles with working memory and task organization. This is why visual reminders, structured routines, and checklists are crucial.
Teachers and ADHD Kids: How to Advocate for Your Child (Dr. Catherine McCarthy): Not all teachers understand ADHD, and some may label kids as “lazy” or “disruptive.” Parents can proactively communicate with teachers, explaining that their child isn’t trying to be difficult but is dealing with a developmental delay. A collaborative approach builds support rather than tension.
Movement Helps Kids with ADHD Learn (Dr. Robyn Silverman): Research shows that movement-based learning—such as walking while studying or using standing desks—helps ADHD kids focus. When possible, parents can advocate for classroom accommodations that allow physical movement.
ADHD is Invisible But Exhausting (Dr. Catherine McCarthy): Unlike a visible disability, ADHD is an invisible challenge, which makes it harder for people to recognize and accommodate. Parents may feel guilt or frustration, but it’s important to practice self-compassion and recognize that supporting an ADHD child is a journey.
Managing Frustration as a Parent (Dr. Robyn Silverman): It’s natural for parents to feel exhausted and frustrated when dealing with late homework, forgotten assignments, and disorganization. Yelling and criticism don’t help—but structure and patience do. Instead of “Why didn’t you do this?” try “Let’s figure out a plan together.”
How ADHD Affects Sleep and Nutrition (Dr. Catherine McCarthy): ADHD brains are more sensitive to lack of sleep and poor nutrition. A consistent sleep schedule, protein-rich diet, and minimizing sugar/caffeine can help regulate energy and focus.
ADHD is Highly Treatable (Dr. Catherine McCarthy): With the right support—including behavioral therapy, medication, school accommodations, and structured routines—kids with ADHD can thrive. Treatment is not about “fixing” them but giving them the tools they need to navigate the world successfully.
The Good News: ADHD Brings Strengths (Dr. Catherine McCarthy):While ADHD presents challenges, it also comes with unique strengths—creativity, spontaneity, problem-solving, humor, and resilience. Many successful entrepreneurs, artists, and leaders have ADHD. With the right support, kids can turn their ADHD into an asset.
The Emotional Toll on Parents (Dr. Robyn Silverman): Parenting a child with ADHD can be exhausting and overwhelming. The constant reminders, missing assignments, and emotional ups and downs can wear parents out. But parents need to remind themselves: they are human too. They are doing their best, and their child is not struggling on purpose. ADHD is neurological, not a behavioral choice, and understanding this can help parents shift from frustration to compassion.
How Schools Can Support ADHD Kids (Dr. Catherine McCarthy): Schools play a vital role in helping children with ADHD succeed. The key is getting accommodations, such as extended test time, movement breaks, or alternative learning formats. When teachers understand that ADHD is not a choice but a developmental delay, they can shift their approach from frustration to support, allowing ADHD kids to thrive in an environment suited to their needs.
Medication is Like Glasses for the Brain (Dr. Catherine McCarthy): ADHD medication is not about changing a child’s personality; it’s about giving them the tools they need to function at their best. Just like glasses help someone see clearly, medication helps an ADHD brain process information, regulate emotions, and sustain attention. The goal is not sedation but support.
Why ADHD is Not a Character Flaw (Dr. Robyn Silverman): Many people misunderstand ADHD and label kids as lazy, careless, or disruptive. But ADHD is not a character flaw; it’s a brain-based condition. Kids with ADHD can be brilliant, creative, and passionate, but they need the right environment and tools to succeed. When we stop blaming and start supporting, kids can thrive.
The Good News About ADHD (Dr. Catherine McCarthy): ADHD is not a dead end. With the right strategies—whether it’s therapy, structure, medication, or accommodations—kids with ADHD can excel. Many successful entrepreneurs, creatives, and innovators have ADHD. When their strengths are nurtured, they can use their unique abilities to achieve amazing things.
Notable Quotables:
“ADHD isn’t about being lazy—it’s about a developmental delay in the brain. Support, not shame, is what helps kids thrive.” – Dr. Catherine McCarthy
“Medication for ADHD isn’t about changing who kids are—it’s about giving their brains the tools to function more effectively.” – Dr. Catherine McCarthy
“ADHD kids aren’t ‘bad’ or ‘lazy’—their brains are wired differently. Understanding this changes everything.” – Dr. Robyn Silverman
“Untreated ADHD doesn’t just make school harder—it affects confidence, friendships, and emotional health.” – Dr. Catherine McCarthy
“Think of ADHD medication like glasses for the brain—it helps kids see clearly so they can reach their full potential.” – Dr. Catherine McCarthy
“Supporting an ADHD child requires patience, structure, and a deep well of compassion—for them and for yourself.” – Dr. Robyn Silverman
“Kids with ADHD don’t grow out of it overnight—executive function develops well into adulthood.” – Dr. Catherine McCarthy
“Movement isn’t a distraction for ADHD kids—it’s a tool that helps them learn better.” – Dr. Robyn Silverman
“A well-regulated adult raises a well-regulated child. When we model calm problem-solving, kids follow.” – Dr. Catherine McCarthy
“Creativity, humor, and resilience—ADHD isn’t just a challenge, it’s a different way of thinking.” – Dr. Catherine McCarthy
“ADHD kids thrive when given the right tools, not when punished for struggling with things beyond their control.” – Dr. Robyn Silverman
“Frustration is normal—but so is growth. With the right strategies, ADHD kids can succeed in incredible ways.” – Dr. Catherine McCarthy
“A frustrated parent is not a failed parent. You are human, and you are doing the best you can.” – Dr. Robyn Silverman
“A child with ADHD is not being difficult on purpose. They are struggling with a brain that processes the world differently.” – Dr. Catherine McCarthy
“ADHD is not a weakness—it’s a different way of thinking. Some of the most successful people in the world have ADHD.” – Dr. Catherine McCarthy
“Medication for ADHD is like glasses for nearsightedness. It helps the brain focus—not by changing the child, but by giving them the clarity they need.” – Dr. Catherine McCarthy
“When we stop expecting kids with ADHD to fit into a neurotypical mold and start supporting their unique strengths, they flourish.” – Dr. Robyn Silverman
Resources:
Sources Mentioned in This Episode
1) CHADD (Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder):A leading national nonprofit organization providing articles, toolkits, podcasts, and parent resources on ADHD.
2) Dr. Russell Barkley’s YouTube Channel: One of the top ADHD experts, Dr. Barkley shares evidence-based information on ADHD through weekly updates, making research digestible for parents and families.
“Raising a Kid Who Can” – A resource-packed book with easy-to-understand neuroscience and ADHD insights for parents. Website: https://www.raisingakidwhocan.com
ADHD is Real and Well-Researched (Dr. Catherine McCarthy): ADHD isn’t just kids being “lazy” or “not trying hard enough”—it is one of the most rigorously studied neurodevelopmental disorders. The data is as strong as research on strep throat. Brain imaging studies show real structural and functional differences in kids with ADHD, particularly in the prefrontal cortex, which controls impulse regulation and attention.
Why ADHD is Not a Character Flaw (Dr. Robyn Silverman): Many people misunderstand ADHD and label kids as lazy, careless, or disruptive. But ADHD is not a character flaw; it’s a brain-based condition. Kids with ADHD can be brilliant, creative, and passionate, but they need the right environment and tools to succeed. When we stop blaming and start supporting, kids can thrive.
“ADHD isn’t about being lazy—it’s about a developmental delay in the brain. Support, not shame, is what helps kids thrive.” – Dr. Catherine McCarthy
