How to Help Kids Thrive in 2025 with Dr. Michele Borba
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Mini Synopsis:
In this episode, Dr. Robyn Silverman speaks with Dr. Michele Borba about actionable strategies to help children develop resilience, self-confidence, empathy, and other critical skills needed to thrive in 2025. Together, they explore how parents and educators can guide children through challenges while nurturing their strengths, character, and emotional well-being.
INTRODUCTION:
We often talk about goal-setting at this time of year because the New Year is a symbol of a new start. Of course, there’s more to thriving in 2025 than goal-setting. It’s about self-confidence, empathy, self-control, integrity, curiosity, perseverance, and optimism. How in the world do we teach our kids this stuff? Are they born with it? Can we develop it? What if it looks like our kids just doesn’t have it? For this, we are turning to our repeat-guest who we love so much, Dr. Michele Borba.
Bio:
Dr. Michele Borba is an educational psychologist, best-selling author, and TODAY show contributor who has spoken to over one million participants on five continents and to countless media about child development issues. She blends 40 years of teaching and consulting experience with the latest science to offer sound, realistic advice to parents teachers and child advocates about helping children thrive. Borba is the award-winning author of 28 books translated into 14 languages including Nobody Likes Me, The Big Book of Parenting Solutions, The 6 Rs of Bullying Prevention, UnSelfie and Thrivers.
Important Messages:
Resilience as a Teachable Skill (Dr. Michele Borba): Children aren’t born with resilience—it’s something we can teach them. Thriving isn’t about one-time lessons or programs; it’s an ongoing process. If we help kids understand they can bounce back from adversity, we’re giving them a lifelong gift that’s more important than almost anything else we teach them. Resilience equips children to handle failures, challenges, and unpredictability, which are inevitable parts of life. It’s a skillset they’ll carry with them well beyond childhood.
The Importance of Starting Small ( Robyn Silverman): You don’t have to teach everything all at once. Skills like resilience or problem-solving can be practiced in small moments—whether it’s during a car ride or at the dinner table. Just a few minutes of consistent practice each day can make a significant difference. Over time, these skills become second nature, and that’s what prepares kids to thrive when challenges arise. Small steps lead to big outcomes.
Self-Confidence Through Strengths ( Michele Borba): We need to shift our focus from grades to strengths. It’s about being talent scouts and asking, ‘What lights up my child?’ Find what excites them—whether it’s art, sports, or even ukulele—and carve out time for it. Recognizing and celebrating their strengths builds their self-confidence and helps them thrive. When kids engage in activities they love, they learn faster, focus better, and feel a sense of purpose.
The Role of Balance in a Child’s Life ( Michele Borba): Our kids are telling us they need more balance in their lives. They feel overwhelmed by academics and extracurriculars. Sometimes, scaling back and prioritizing activities they genuinely enjoy can create the space they need to decompress and grow. As parents, we often focus on fixing their weaknesses instead of nurturing their strengths. Balance isn’t about doing less—it’s about doing what matters most.
The Transformative Power of Activities (Dr. Robyn Silverman): When my 14-year-old started boxing, I saw a real change in him. It wasn’t just about learning the skills or breaking a sweat—it was how it helped him reset emotionally. He’d resist going sometimes, but afterward, he was lighter, happier, and more connected. This is the power of finding something that genuinely benefits your child. Even when it’s hard to start, the results are worth it.
Empathy Can Be Cultivated ( Michele Borba): Empathy isn’t fixed—it’s something we can grow. Reading books, engaging in service projects, or even small acts like donating toys can help kids step into others’ shoes. The key is involving them face-to-face in the process to make the experience meaningful. Kids learn empathy not just through ideas but through experiences where they see the impact of their actions. It becomes a skill they can carry into their relationships and future challenges.
Integrating Empathy into Daily Life ( Michele Borba): Create small rituals like a family charity box or regular service projects. These actions instill giving as a family value and show children that they can make a difference in the world. Empathy doesn’t just look good on a resume—it’s linked to resilience and social competence. By starting small, like donating a gently used toy or helping at a local shelter, kids learn that giving is about connection, not obligation. These habits create a mindset of care and kindness.
The Power of Delivery in Acts of Kindness ( Robyn Silverman): When children participate in delivering donations or seeing the impact of their kindness, it transforms their understanding of giving. They see how their actions create positive change and feel empowered to do more. It’s not just about putting something in a box—it’s about understanding how their contribution helps others. Whether it’s donating to a family in need or volunteering at a shelter, those face-to-face moments build empathy and confidence.
Integrity as a Core Value ( Michele Borba): Integrity is the foundation of character. It starts with setting an example and having clear expectations. Whether it’s pointing out examples of integrity in books or discussing family values, these conversations build a framework for kids to understand and practice integrity. Integrity isn’t something you lecture about—it’s something you live and model every day. If your child only had you to watch, what would they learn about integrity?
Encouraging Open Conversations About Values ( Michele Borba): Ask your kids, ‘What do you think we stand for as a family?’ When they can articulate values like kindness or honesty, it shows that those expectations are sinking in. These conversations make abstract concepts tangible for them. By involving them in defining your family values, you create ownership and accountability. It’s a simple yet powerful way to build integrity.
Curiosity as a 21st-Century Skill ( Michele Borba): Curiosity fuels problem-solving and resilience. A child who asks, ‘What else can I do?’ is more likely to thrive when faced with challenges. Encouraging open-ended thinking and brainstorming at home can nurture this critical skill. When kids are curious, they’re more adaptable and open to learning from failures. This mindset is essential in a world that demands creativity and flexibility.
Teaching Kids to Embrace Failure ( Michele Borba): Kids need to understand that failure is part of learning. At places like MIT, failure isn’t just accepted—it’s celebrated as part of the creative process. Teaching kids to see failure as a stepping stone helps them approach challenges with an open mind. When they learn to fail forward, they develop resilience and confidence in their ability to overcome obstacles. It’s a mindset that transforms setbacks into opportunities for growth.
Fostering Respectful Disagreements ( Michele Borba): Encourage kids to express their opinions respectfully. Teach them to assert themselves, provide reasons, and back up their ideas with evidence. These discussions build confidence and help them think critically in a world full of quick answers. Respectful debates teach kids that it’s okay to have different viewpoints as long as they’re communicated thoughtfully. This skill is crucial for navigating diverse perspectives and challenges.
Making Problem-Solving Fun ( Michele Borba): Use tools like a ‘pocket problem solver’ where kids can name a problem, brainstorm solutions, and choose the best one. These small, fun exercises teach valuable problem-solving skills they can use throughout life. By making problem-solving interactive and engaging, you’re teaching kids to approach challenges with creativity and persistence. It’s a skill that serves them well in every area of life.
The Role of Parents as Examples ( Michele Borba): Children learn integrity by watching us. If we model honesty and kindness, they’re more likely to emulate those behaviors. Ask yourself, ‘If my child only had me as an example, what would they learn today?’ Kids are incredibly perceptive, and they mirror what they see in us. Being intentional about our actions sets a powerful example.
Building Skills Incrementally ( Michele Borba): You don’t have to teach everything at once. Focus on one skill—like empathy or problem-solving—for a few minutes each day. Over time, those small efforts add up, and the skill becomes second nature to your child. Consistency is more important than intensity when it comes to building life skills. It’s about progress, not perfection.
Having Family Conversations About Growth ( Michele Borba): Start the new year with a conversation: ‘What can we do to be better people or a better family?’ These discussions encourage kids to think about growth and give them a sense of agency in shaping their future. By involving everyone in setting goals, you create a shared sense of purpose. It’s a simple way to start the year on a positive and intentional note.
The Connection Between Empathy and Resilience ( Michele Borba): Empathy and resilience go hand in hand. When kids understand others’ perspectives, they’re better equipped to navigate social challenges. Empathy helps them build stronger relationships and find solutions that work for everyone. It’s a skill that supports emotional intelligence and overall well-being. By fostering empathy, we’re also teaching kids how to thrive in a complex world.
Teaching Kids to Practice Skills Daily ( Michele Borba): Skills like resilience, empathy, and problem-solving aren’t learned in a day. They require practice, just like any other ability. Spending just a few minutes each day on these skills can lead to long-term growth. The goal is for kids to internalize these abilities so they can use them independently. That’s how we prepare them to thrive in 2025 and beyond.
Notable Quotables:
“Resilience isn’t something you’re born with—it’s something you build, one step at a time.” – Michele Borba
“Let’s stop focusing on what kids can’t do and start celebrating what lights them up.” – Michele Borba
“Empathy isn’t fixed—it grows when kids step into someone else’s shoes.” – Michele Borba
“When kids see the impact of their kindness, they feel empowered to keep giving.” – Robyn Silverman
“Integrity begins with us. If your child only had you to watch, what would they learn?” – Michele Borba
“Curiosity helps kids bounce back because it keeps them open to possibilities.” – Michele Borba
“Failure isn’t the end—it’s part of the process. Celebrate it as a stepping stone to growth.” – Dr. Michele Borba
“Ask your kids, ‘What do we stand for as a family?’ Let them define the values they see.” – Dr. Michele Borba
“Brainstorming teaches kids to think creatively and find solutions when things don’t go as planned.” – Michele Borba
“Skills like empathy, resilience, and problem-solving aren’t one-time lessons—they need daily practice.” – Dr. Michele Borba
“Sometimes resilience means just getting out the door—and that’s a win worth celebrating.” – Robyn Silverman
“Every small moment of kindness adds up to a lifetime of character and resilience.” – Michele Borba
“Small habits, like a family charity box, teach kids that giving is about connection, not obligation.” – Dr. Michele Borba
“The best conversations with kids often start with their passions, whether it’s boxing, books, or music.” – Robyn Silverman
Resilience as a Teachable Skill (Dr. Michele Borba): Children aren’t born with resilience—it’s something we can teach them. Thriving isn’t about one-time lessons or programs; it’s an ongoing process. If we help kids understand they can bounce back from adversity, we’re giving them a lifelong gift that’s more important than almost anything else we teach them. Resilience equips children to handle failures, challenges, and unpredictability, which are inevitable parts of life. It’s a skillset they’ll carry with them well beyond childhood.
involving everyone in setting goals, you create a shared sense of purpose. It’s a simple way to start the year on a positive and intentional note.
“Resilience isn’t something you’re born with—it’s something you build, one step at a time.” – Michele Borba
