Special guest: Michele Borba, Ed.D: This podcast focuses on how to help kids thrive in an uncertain world. Have you ever noticed that even when all the odds are stacked against some kids, somehow certain kids rise above and thrive? These kids are the thrivers! They have skills, traits and practices that allow them to shine while others struggle. What are their secrets? We discuss them in today’s podcast with author, Dr. Michele Borba.
Dr. Marilyn Price-Mitchell is a developmental psychologist, speaker, and fellow at the Institute for Social Innovation at Fielding Graduate University where she studies how young people become caring family members, innovative workers, ethical leaders, and engaged citizens in an increasingly complex society. She is founder of Roots of Action, a website that shares research-based resources on positive youth development with parents, schools, and communities – with an audience of over half-million readers each year. She is the author of Tomorrow’s Change Makers: Reclaiming the Power of Citizenship for a New Generation and a contributing writer at Psychology Today and Edutopia.
Dannielle Miller is a best-selling Author, Teen Educator and Media Commentator In 2003 she founded Australia’s leading provider of in-school workshops for teen girls, Enlighten Education. More recently, she launched a program for boys, Goodfellas. She has written for several online and print publications and has a bi-weekly column in Australia’s most read newspaper, The Daily Telegraph. She has written five books for parents and teen girls, including a best-selling title on raising happy, confident teen girls, The Butterfly Effect. Dannielle is a popular speaker at youth and education conferences and forums internationally.
Special guest: Dr. Harold Koplewicz: This podcast focuses on how to raise resilient, self-reliant and secure kids in an age of anxiety. The most common health disorders among children are mental health disorders. That’s 17 million children! We must help children cope with stress and learn from their mistakes—and we can do this through scaffold parenting. Scaffold parenting is a framework based on structure, support and encouragement. Dr. Robyn Silverman speaks to Dr. Harold S. Koplewicz, founding president and medical director at the Child Mind Institute and author of the new book, The Scaffold Effect, on the How to Talk to Kids about Anything podcast.
Special Guest: Dawn Huebner, PhD Do your children or young teens get nervous? Scared? Jittery? Uneasy? Agitated? Stressed out? Well, everyone gets worried sometimes. Some people are able to move through worry fairly easily while others find that worry can get in their way. Does that happen to your kids? In certain situations, it can happen to mine. Some kids worry about school, tests, or where they’re going to sit at lunch. Others worry about bugs or thunder storms, bad dreams or being away from their parents. As an adult, sometimes our kids’ worries seem strange or illogical and we can get frustrated or overwhelmed, annoyed or even worried about their worry. We need some tips and scripts to help our kids tame those jitters- especially when we aren’t there to help the, Well, we are in luck- my next guest is going to help us talk to kids and help kids understand and outsmart worry.
Special guest: Jason B. Allen: It is no secret that many of our black and brown boys are marginalized, mistreated and made to feel inferior in today’s world. You’ve heard leaders call for systemic change- but that only happens when the people within our systems, help them to change. We need advocates, educators and activists to help do this important work—to teach and guide us, as parents and coaches and prominent people in the lives of youth on how to help all our young people reach their potential. There are some uncomfortable conversations that must occur- about racism, about inequity, about social justice—with those young people who are on the receiving end of inequities as well as with those who are peers, friends, teachers and parents of those who must cope with these inequities every day. How do we talk to our kids about equity and social justice? How do we empower our young people to speak out and make change? And How do we present ourselves as mentors—or provide the mentors our children need- so that they have people to look towards who look like them so they can see where they can go with hard work and hopefully, a fair shot. For all of this, I turn to special educator, Jason B. Allen.
Special guest: Mona Delahooke, PhD. A kindergartener whose father pinches her on the arm at night- once for every time her teacher wrote the girl’s name on the behavior chart at school that day.
A three year old in foster care who was found sitting in a car by the side of the road with his mother, who was passed out at the wheel. His daycare-center teacher sends him to a time out room for challenging behaviors.
A ten year old is diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder. His teachers say he is chronically disruptive, always seeking attention, His problematic behaviors began after his family relocated to a new state.
My next guest says that we are too quick to look at behaviors as attempts to annoy and disrupt—rather than what they truly represent- observable responses to our internal and external experiences. And here’s the problem with that- When we fail to recognize that many behaviors represent the body’s response to stress, not intentional misbehavior, we expend effort on techniques designed to help children logically connect their thoughts, emotions and behaviors and change them—when they simply can’t yet. Instead, we need to see the behavior that is problematic and confusing and NOT ask ourselves how do we get rid of it? But rather, what is this telling us about the child? The answer will then guide us to coming up with the best approach to help that individual child thrive.
Mona Delahooke, Ph.D. is a clinical child psychologist with a passion for supporting families and children. She has worked widely with multidisciplinary teams in the areas of trauma, developmental and emotional differences for 25 years. She is a senior faculty member of the Profectum Foundation and is a trainer and consultant to schools and agencies including the Los Angeles Department of Mental Health. Her blog, The Visible Parent, and book, Social & Emotional Development in Early Intervention (2017) explore the latest translational applications of neuroscience to social and emotional development. She is also the author of Beyond Behaviors: Using Brain Science and Compassion to Understand and Solve Children’s Behavioral Challenges.
Special Guest: Rachel Simmons Rachel Simmons is a bestselling author, educator and consultant helping girls and women be more authentic, assertive and resilient. Her latest release, Enough As She Is: How to Help Girls Move Beyond Impossible Standards of Success to Live Healthy, Happy and Fulfilling Lives, due out today from HarperCollins. Her previous work includes the New York Times bestsellers Odd Girl Out and The Curse of the Good Girl. As an educator, Rachel teaches girls and women the skills they need to build their resilience, amplify their voices, and own their courage so that they—and their relationships—live with integrity and health.
I went on ABC News Live to discuss how to talk to kids about the Capitol Building Attack. Here are some take-aways:
(1) With younger children, turn off the news cycle- they absorb information like a sponge and yet don’t have the context or framework to understand and process what is happening. As your children get older, and you know your children best, if you feel that they are ready to see the news- co-watch and be prepared to discuss it. For our tweens and teens who may be accessing the news on their own, be sure to know where they are getting their news from so you can ensure they are getting an accurate depiction of what actually happened.
(2) Answer questions and ask questions: Be prepared to answer what happened and how it happened. If you aren’t sure of an answer, you can admit you don’t know or take some time to look it up. Ask questions like; “what would you have done?” “What advice would you have for the adults who were angry about the election results?” “What is the responsibility of our leaders in this situation?” This is when critical thinking is exercised and values are solidified.
(3) Let them know they are safe. Images of people scaling the walls and breaking into the government’s house can be very scary for children. Let them know; “the adults are working hard to make sure you are safe. Make sure they understand that what happened was very rare and show them where it took place on the map. This helps them realize that they are not in danger.
(4) Discuss feelings. It’s ok to admit you are saddened or angry, confused or frustrated. Admitting your feelings can provide permission for your children to talk about their emotions. Of course, if you want to take a deep dive into your frustrations and anger, this is best suited to do with another adult- a friend, a partner, or other adult family member.
Dr. Robyn Silverman does a solocast on setting goals for 2021 with empathy, hope and a little surrender in mind. How can you set goals using empathy? How can we use this time to talk to kids about household contributions and life skills development? How can we use this time to talk about tough topics and how do you bring it up anyway? Dr. Robyn sits down with you, one on one, for an intimate discussion at the start of 2021.