Leadership: More than Just Showing the Way

Leaders don’t just show the way, know the way and go the way. They inspire others to feel competent, confident and courageous. They believe and also help others to believe in themselves. So leading is not just about standing out in front, it’s about being the person who sees the potential in others and helps them to see it in themselves.

#Leadership is not just about standing out in front, it’s about being the person who sees the potential in others and helps them to see it in themselves. Click To Tweet

See there’s a difference between watching someone achieve a goal and seeing that it’s possible for others and seeing someone achieve a goal and thinking “it’s possible for me too.”

There’s a difference between watching someone achieve a goal and thinking that it’s possible for others and seeing someone achieve a goal and thinking -it’s possible for me too. #Leadership Click To Tweet

Whether it’s a fitness goal, academic goal, parenting goal, athletic goal or business goal, we all need leaders who inspire us into action because we feel that we CAN achieve.

When I present a #keynote or write curriculum, it’s then, not about me. It’s about giving the skills and the scripts that make people say; “yes, I can do this.” I want my audience to leave feeling ready and able. I want them to say; “I’ve got what I need to do this now.” So yes, I can tell stories illustrating the “doing it” but if we don’t impart the skills and highlight the gifts that the other person has to feel competent and able, we are falling short on this #leadership front.

Whether you are a parent, teacher or coach, you know what I mean. We can inspire action not by simply doing it ourselves, certainly not doing it for them (that undermines everything) but by helping them see that they have what it takes to do it. And yes, of course, we may need to provide help in some form or another but isn’t the goal to get them to feel that they can ultimately take the lead in the task at hand?

Here’s to all you great leaders out there.

.

Xo-

Dr. Robyn

How to Talk to Kids about Sports with Dr. Ross Flowers

Special Guest: Dr. Ross Flowers Ross Flowers, Ph.D. is an experienced sport and performance psychologist, executive coach, author and speaker. He is the director of sports performance psychology for the LA Clippers. As a partner in Giles Consulting Group he has worked as a leadership development coach for the Center for Creative Leadership, international sport psychologist, psychologist in the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation, and sport psychology instructor. Ross is the author of Introducing Your Child to Sports: An Expert’s Answers to Parents’ Questions about Raising a Healthy, Balanced, Happy Athlete.

Ross served as a senior sport psychologist for the United States Olympic Committee, and was a member of many USA World Cup, World Championship and Olympic teams for summer and winter sports. Ross founded and directed the Applied Sport Psychology Program at the University of California, Davis. You can look him up right here: http://gilesllc.com/

Confidence Comes from Experience

Someone asked me how to help her child become more confident– especially give that she felt she lacks confidence too.

You can’t will yourself to be confident. There’s no trick. There’s no magic button. In order to become confident you need to do the thing that scares you. You need to look in the face of uncertainty and still keep going.

You need to be louder than doubt. Bigger than the barrier. Bolder than the fear.

Remember when you ??? You know that time when…??? Conjure up those experiences when you kicked insecurity aside and did what you had to do. You can do this. You can do this.

Yes you can. Just do the thing. When you do the thing that scares you, you realize, it’s not so tough. It’s not so bad. It’s not so scary. And along the way, you become better at the thing, don’t you? And becoming better at it often makes us feel more comfortable. Or at least you can say, “well, I’ve already done it once so I can do it again.”

So speak up. Stand up. Try the activity. Get up on stage. Have the conversation. Put yourself out there. Make the call. Plant your feet. Look them in the eye. Walk to the front of the room. Go for that run. Teeter, totter, slip, fall, fail and wipe out. Then get back up. Try again. Go for it. Your confidence depends on it.

xoxo-

 

 

 

 

How to Be a Happier Parent When Happier Moms and Dads Mean Happier Kids

HAPPIER PARENTS= HAPPIER KIDS!

Do you want to be a happier parent? Most might say yes. Would it surprise you to know that for many years, research has shown that non-parents are happier than parents on an everyday basis? It’s true.

In today’s world where many parents are often shuttling kids from one destination to another, coping with high anxiety around school, sports, college, their children’s friends, their children’s interests, screen time, keeping their children safe and perhaps also trying to keep up with the Jones too- there seems to be a “happiness gap” between childless adults and those who have children. This is NOT what we had imagined when we pictured family life, is it?

So the question is- is it possible to change our families and our family lives so that they are full of the joy that we always hoped for?

Turns out- yes we can be happier parents! We need to turn our attention to the habits and concessions we’ve made and make some important changes. And don’t worry about feeling guilty. Parents who are happier have kids who are happier!

What makes you happy?

  • Laughing with a friend over coffee?
  • Performing on stage?
  • Dancing?
  • Biking?
  • Exercising?
  • Yoga?
  • Playing an instrument?
  • Reading a good book?
  • Going out to dinner with your main squeeze?

NOW– Want to know exactly what to do? I interviewed New York Times contributing editor and columnist (remember Motherlode?), KJ Dell’Antonia about her forthcoming book, How to Be a Happier Parent, and we discussed some things we have to stop doing and some things we need to start doing to ensure our happiness. She says some controversial things like “don’t put your children first unless they are bleeding” which may make you dig your heals in and question how what she is saying applies to you- but it’s kind of like the whole airplane directive (put your own mask on first before assisting others).

Take a listen. It’s right on my #talktokids podcast over here.

Here’s to you and wishing you a lifetime of happiness (starting…now!)

Xoxo,

How to Be a Happier Parent with KJ Dell’Antonia

Special Guest: KJ Dell’Antonia Five years of editing the Motherlode column for the New York Times taught KJ Dell’Antonia this: family can be a source of joy, not stress. Her reporting and research on parental happiness led to her new forthcoming book, “How to Be a Happier Parent,” available in August, 2018. She writes regularly on the personal and policy aspects of parenthood for the New York Times and other publications, and sends out a weekly tiny letter on being a happier parent (even when she’s not)— http://tinyurl.com/followkj which is in the shownotes of this podcast. She lives in New Hampshire with her husband, four children and assorted horses, chickens, dogs and cats.

Every Child Has SuperPowers: What are YOUR Child’s Strengths?

EVERY CHILD HAS SUPERPOWERS: ? I keep this photo on my desk while I work. It’s of my son from when he was 4 years old (he’s now 7). To me, it reminds me that every child has strengths- gifts that can bless this world and make it s better place to be.

Of course, sometimes those strengths are hidden by old wounds, scars, or sticky labels or covered-over by frustrating behaviors or diagnoses that seem to pop to the forefront like ADHD, ASD, OCD or other neurodiverse brain differences.

It’s not always easy to remember this as a #parent, #coach or #teacher when #kids can push just the right buttons to make us feel a little ?????. I totally get that and I’m right their with you. That Sweet-faced guy in the ?Superman suit ?can drive me bonkers. ? He’s the new Dennis the Menace- if anyone remembers that comic!

But he’s also really bright and clever. Kind-hearted and funny. ❤️And can find anything that you thought you lost do good. We call him “the finder of all lost things.” He can spell words that I have trouble spelling- how does he do that? ❓❓❓He builds amazing things out of blocks and can play #chess like he’s been playing his whole life (he only just started). And when he says “I love you” and gives you an honest to goodness hug, well, he might just melt your heart.

?So- superpowers. What are your #children ‘s superpowers? I’d love to hear about them below!? Or go to my instagram or facebook page to discuss!

How to Talk to Kids about Meaning & Purpose in a Secular Age with Katherine Ozment

Special Guest: Katherine Ozment Katherine Ozment is the author of Grace Without God: The Search for Meaning, Purpose, and Belonging in a Secular Age. She is an award-winning journalist who has worked in publishing for more than twenty-five years, including as a senior editor at National Geographic, for which she once rode a donkey through the desert of Israel and Jordan for several weeks. Her essays and articles have been widely published in such venues as National Geographic, The New York Times, and Salon. Grace Without God was named a best book of the year by Publishers Weekly and Spirituality & Health. I’m not surprised because it is beautifully written and thought provoking. You can learn more about Katherine and her book in the show notes of this podcast as well as on her website  www.katherineozment.com

How to Deal with the Inner Critic & To Stop Feeling Like Sh*t with Andrea Owen

Special Guest: Andrea Owen Life coach. Author and Self described Hellraiser. Andrea Owen is passionate about empowering women to value themselves and fiercely love who they are. She helps high-achieving women let go of perfectionism, control, and isolation—urging them to choose courage and confidence instead. Her new book is called How to Stop Feeling Like Sh*t: 14 Habits that Are Holding You Back from Happiness. You can learn more about Andrea and her new book in the show notes to this podcast or on www.yourkickasslife.com.

How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting with Your Kids with Dr. Laura Markham

Special Guest: Dr. Laura Markham Dr. Laura Markham trained as a Clinical Psychologist, earning her PhD from Columbia University. She is the mother of two, now ages 21 and 25. Dr. Laura is the author of the book Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting and Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings: How To Stop the Fighting and Raise Friends for Life. And she has a new workbook out called the Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids Workbook that you are sure to love. You can find her online at http://www.ahaparenting.com

How to Ensure that Every Girl Knows She Is Enough As She Is with Rachel Simmons

Special Guest: Rachel Simmons Rachel Simmons is a bestselling author, educator and consultant helping girls and women be more authentic, assertive and resilient. Her latest release, Enough As She Is: How to Help Girls Move Beyond Impossible Standards of Success to Live Healthy, Happy and Fulfilling Lives, due out today from HarperCollins. Her previous work includes the New York Times bestsellers Odd Girl Out and The Curse of the Good Girl. As an educator, Rachel teaches girls and women the skills they need to build their resilience, amplify their voices, and own their courage so that they—and their relationships—live with integrity and health.