Parenting these days can be very reactionary. We have lots of pressure and little time and often many feelings of not being enough, constantly striving, competing with others and overall disconnection. We have big reactions or, perhaps we might say, our big reactions have us. But what if we practiced more aware parenting? What if we become more in touch with our own senses, our mental state, our bodies and our relationship to ourselves and to others and how our awareness could affect our parenting and our lives? When we become aware and reflective of our reactions and what is indeed feeding these reactions, we can become more receptive, calm, balanced, compassionate and positive in the way we parent our kids and more balanced in our own wellbeing. And imagine what we can teach our kids—by showing awareness and practicing awareness, we can then teach them to the do the same in their own lives. Is there a way to cultivate this awareness? Is there a way to teach our kids to practice awareness as children and teenagers? For these questions and more, we turn to our guest today, Dr. Dan Siegel.
Special Guest: Amy Morin, LCSW
Do your tweens worry that they don’t fit in sometimes? Feel insecure? Wish that their lives looked as person as everyone else’s on social media? Being a tween can be tough in today’s world- especially during the past year of ups, downs, changes and question marks. Your tween is balancing a lot on their shoulders- homework, extracurricular activities, chores, friendship drama, family and all that growth and development—all while trying to the impression that they have it all together and they know what they are doing! Sometimes while they attempt to look perfect on the outside, they feel rotten on the inside- and today’s podcast episode is all about strengthening that inner person- becoming a better and stronger person takes some brain training and brain training takes tools so that they can develop healthy habits, build mental strength and take actions towards becoming their best selves.
This week’s guest is someone who has been on the How to Talk to Kids about Anything podcast 3 times already- so this is her fourth- and that’s because she’s one of my favorites and definite a fan favorite as well. I am finding as I write my book, How to Talk to Kids about Anything, and write my chapters on talking to kids about mistakes and failure and dealing with big feelings, responsibility and self-reliance and coping with anxiety- the conversations that I’ve had with Amy Morin have come up again and again. So you will absolutely see Amy quoted in my book once it’s released- and she even wrote a very supportive comment about my forthcoming book in my proposal, for which I am extremely grateful.
Special Guest: Devorah Heitner
Devorah Heitner, PhD is the author of Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World and the founder of Raising Digital Natives. She passionately believes in the power of mentoring kids in creating a positive tech culture and she is delighted to be raising her own digital native.
Special Guest: Logan Levkoff, PhD Parents, much to their surprise, have a great influence on their kids’ attitudes and values around sex, body exploration and relationships. While kids might tell you that they absolutely, positively do not want to talk to their parents (of all people) about sex or dating, the studies reveal something completely different. Perhaps you remember when we had Richard Weissbourd of Harvard University on the show and he told us that his research continually shows that kids want to have these conversations with their parents—and not just once- they want to have lots of conversations about this information over time. They want the knowledge and they want the guidance.
Dr. Ross Greene served on the faculty at Harvard Medical School for over 20 years, and is now adjunct Associate Professor in the Department of Psychology at Virginia Tech and adjunct Professor in the Faculty of Science at the University of Technology Sydney in Australia. He is the author of the influential, well-known best-selling books The Explosive Child and Lost at School as well as Raising Human Beings, Lost and Found and Lost in School and has helped to bring about an upcoming documentary called “The Kids We Lose.” He is a fierce and articulate advocate for the compassionate understanding and treatment of behaviorally challenging kids and their caregivers. Drawing upon vast clinical and consultation experience and research in the neurosciences, his innovative, research-based Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) approach – which posits that challenging behavior is the result of lagging skills (rather than lagging motivation) and emphasizes solving problems collaboratively (rather than use of motivational procedures) – has been implemented in countless families and hundreds of schools, inpatient units, and residential and juvenile detention facilities. The Collaborative & Proactive Solutions model helps parents, teachers, and kids work together to solve problems in a way that respects our kids while supporting them in improving their behavior. Dr. Greene is also the founder of Lives in the Balance, which aims to provide resources and programs to caregivers of behaviorally challenging kids, address the issues that cause many of these kids to slip through the cracks; and to promote practices that foster the better side of human nature in all children.
Perhaps you’ve made the mistake of cutting your child’s sandwich into triangles instead of squares. Or you’ve dealt with siblings that won’t stop fighting, a child who refuses to get out of bed or cries when you try to leave the house. And perhaps your child’s struggles, tantrums, refusals, frustrations have gotten a little bit under your skin and made you hot under the collar— and while you tell yourself to be patient and loving, you start yelling, threatening, bribing or caving under the pressure. We get it. SO many parents feel helpless, desperate and frustrated when their kids just won’t cooperate or seem so unreasonable and you are just trying to get out of the house, get them to bed or get dinner on the table. My guests today will give us what to do and say in these moments using their ALP system that they’ve taught thousands of parents in their clinical practice over the years.
Heather Turgeon MFT and Julie Wright MFT are the authors of the new book Now Say This: The right words to solve every parenting dilemma (Penguin RandomHouse), as well as the popular sleep book, The Happy Sleeper. Based in NYC and Los Angeles, they frequently speak and offer consultations to families on communication, setting limits with empathy, sleep, and more. Follow them on Instagram and Facebook @TheHappySleeper
Special Guest: Janice Johnson Dias Can we teach our daughters to change the world for the better? Through conscious parenting choices, we can give our girls the resources to not only take hold of their own futures but also assist other girls, pulling them upwards and forwards so that change becomes a chain reaction and a powerful one at that. It may seem counter-intuitive, in a world that often tells parents to put their children first by dwarfing their own passions—taking a back seat in their own lives so that their children can move ahead- our next guest posits that by finding our own joy, we can inspire our girls to discover and live by theirs. By laying down the burdens of our past, turning our challenges into adventures, and our failures into lessons we can teach our girls many important lessons. But just as important, we can help our girls to identify her heroes and mentors, her own strengths and allow her to teach us a thing or two each week about who she is and how she sees the world.
Dr. Tim Elmore is a best-selling author and CEO of Growing Leaders, a global non-profit organization created to empower students with real-life leadership skills. Tim’s expertise on the emerging generation has led to media coverage in The Huffington Post, The Wall Street Journal, Forbes.com, USA Today and The Washington Post. He has also appeared on CNN’s Headline News and Fox and Friends to discuss how to lead Millennials and Generation Z. Tim’s latest books include Marching Off the Map: Inspire Students to Navigate a Brand New World and 12 Huge Mistakes Parents Can Avoid.
Special Guest: Chelsea Brennan Many parents believe that money is another taboo topic that we just don’t discuss. After all, there is a lot of emotion, status, privilege and judgment tied up with money that make it a topic that can be triggering to many. But when you think about it- where are kids learning about money these days? Many only see the swipe of a credit card & the magic of online shopping- where we press some buttons and we walk out with stuff—or better yet, it appears at our door or in our mailbox! We know this isn’t how it works- and it’s important to teach our kids about money- what we value, what we might be saving for, what we choose to spend money on, which charities we may give money to and what seems frivolous, unnecessary or even counter-productive. But how do we talk to our kids about our family money values, goals and choices- and how can we help set them up with the knowledge, skills and understanding so that they know how to handle money when they need to make important financial decisions later in life? Today we’ll talk to Chelsea Brennan for some answers.
As we discuss conversations on this podcast— key conversations we must have with our children about tough topics— sex, death, divorce, porn, failure, ADHD, bullying— discussions where emotions can run high, agendas can cloud openness and listening and true presence— fear can make us shy away from saying what truly needs to be said, or heard or understood. What if there was a step that we needed to take before we had these all important conversations— a step that acknowledged the importance of dignity for each person— to hold another person’s dignity as precious and valuable while also knowing that our own would be kept in tact as well. How might that affect these key conversations we have with our partners, with our children, with teachers, instructors, coaches— people who touch our lives and help to shape how they evolve. And what if we focused on dignity as a fundamental part of raising our children to become leaders— showing and discussing how we can lead with dignity and create a culture that brings out the best in people? For these questions and more, we turn to our distinguished guest, Dr. Donna Hicks.